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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his behavior, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from external sources. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits through digital sources – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t already reached that realization personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they experience feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been called narcissists for more than a century, definitions vary what is meant by the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, as there is widespread prejudice linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through actions such as displaying material goods,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

While up to 75% of people diagnosed with NPD are men, findings points out this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the covert form, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, similar to everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I often enter defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Even with this reaction – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures as a child. It’s been a process of understanding over the years the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because I never had that growing up,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my relatives were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions through national services (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: The estimate was it is probably going to be in a few months.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he explains. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the existence of NPD content creators and the rise of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number